À la prochaine

coco-and-vera-best-vancouver-style-blog-best-canadian-style-blogger-top-blogger-paris-street-style-apc-half-moon-bag-rayban-wayfarer-sunglasses-whistles-sweatshirt-lovers-and-friends-jeanscoco-and-vera-top-vancouver-fashion-blog-top-canadian-fashion-blog-top-blogger-portrait-cee-fardoe-brunette-musee-du-louvre-whistles-sweatshirtcoco-and-vera-top-vancouver-style-blog-top-canadian-style-blog-top-blogger-paris-street-style-whistles-sweatshirt-lovers-and-friends-jeans-rayban-sunglassescoco-and-vera-top-vancouver-fashion-blog-top-canadian-fashion-blog-top-blogger-street-style-paris-whistles-lovers-and-friends-jeans-apc-half-moon-bagcoco-and-vera-best-vancouver-fashion-blog-best-canadian-fashion-blog-top-blogger-paris-street-style-whistles-sweatshirt-lovers-and-friends-jeans-christian-louboutin-heelsWhistles sweatshirt (similar)
Lovers + Friends jeans (c/o REVOLVE)
Christian Louboutin heels
APC bag
Rayban sunglasses

It’s been months since we came back from Paris, but I’ve hung onto this last grey, rainy set of photos we took while we were there because I didn’t want to let it go yet. I still don’t. But we’ve been on two holidays since then, neither of which I’ve found time to write about yet and, although I’m clinging to the last moments in Paris, I know it’s time. The fact is, I’m not clinging to this trip, or any of the other trips we’ve taken in the past few years – it’s our life there that I don’t want to let go. I didn’t take a gap year after high school, and I didn’t dawdle through university, testing out different courses to find out what I liked, the way so many of my friends did. I got my education as quickly as I could and the leapt right into the work force because that is what you’re supposed to do – at the time, I didn’t question it. I got my first job in the insurance industry when I was twenty-two. Apart from our year in Paris, and a brief three-month stint there a few years before, I’ve been doing a variation of the same job ever since. I don’t talk in detail about my work very often – its far from glamourous, and on an average day it’s not unusual for someone to call me to admit that they’re addicted to hard drugs, but I’ve kept doing it because, on days when things aren’t incredibly stressful (and those days are, admittedly, few and far between), I love what I do. It’s fascinating – it’s also often very sad, but no day is ever the same as the last one. I wouldn’t trade the happy accidents that lead me here but I do wish I had taken more time to figure out what I really wanted from life, rather than just following the traditional path, because it wasn’t until we moved to Paris for a full year that I really, finally, grew up. When I look back on the person that I was before we left our Canadian life for a year, I hardly recognise her. It took me that full year to shed everything and become the person I really wanted to be… and by the time that happened, I was boarding a plane to come home. I needed more time. I’m still longing for more time. I still look at Parisian apartments as if some day all of the hurdles will just move out of the way and we’ll be able to go back. But I doubt they will and so now, I have to content myself with these last photos at least until next year. And with exciting projects that keep me busy so I don’t think so much about it – my site will likely be up and down this weekend and it goes through a major makeover… stay tuned!

Ca fait des mois depuis notre retour de Paris, mais j’ai gardé cette dernière série de photos grises que nous avons prise pendant notre séjour car je n’étais pas encore prête de les lâcher. Je ne suis toujours pas prête. Mais nous avons pris deux vacances depuis Paris, et je ne vous ai rien raconté de ces séjours, donc bien que me raccroche à nos derniers jours à Paris, c’est le moment d’accepter que c’est fini. La vérité, c’est que ce n’est pas notre dernier séjour parisien auquel je me raccroche – c’est notre vie parisienne dont je n’ai pas envie de me séparer. Je n’ai pas pris une année de césure après mes quatre ans de lycée, et je n’ai pas trainé en faisant mes études universitaire. Je tout complété le plus vite que possible et j’ai fait le grand saut dans le monde du travail à mes vingt-deux ans, car c’est que nous sommes censé faire – à l’époque, je ne posais pas beaucoup de questions, je connaissais mon devoir et je le faisais, c’était tout. Je travaille en assurances depuis ce temps-là, à part l’année (et les trois mois quelques ans avant) que nous avons vécu à Paris. C’est assez rare que je discute mon boulot en détails – ce n’est pas du tout glamour et c’est normal que je parle avec des toxicomanes au quotidien. Je continue dans ce boulot car, les jours qui ne sont pas hyper stressant (que j’avoue, arrivent de moins en moins), j’aime mon travail. En fait, je le trouve fascinant – et cependant, c’est aussi souvent triste, mais je ne vis jamais la même jour deux fois. Je ne voudrai pas changer le chemin qui m’a amené à cette existence particulière que j’appelle ma vie, mais je crois que j’aurai dû passer un peu plus de temps à me demander ce que je voulais de la vie, plutôt que simplement faire ce que je croyais qu’on attendait de moi. Ce n’est vraiment que lorsque nous avons déménagé à Paris pendant un an que je suis enfin devenue adulte. Quand je réfléchi sur la femme que j’étais avant que nous avons abandonné notre vie canadienne pendant un an, j’ai du mal à la reconnaitre. Il m’a fallu tout un an afin de devenir la personne que j’ai toujours voulu être… et quand c’a m’est arrivée enfin, j’étais dans l’aéroport, attendant un avion qui allait me remporter au Canada. Je désir ardemment plus de temps à Paris. Je me flâne sur des sites internet des compagnies immobiliers, comme si un jour tous les obstacles vont disparaitre et nous allons pouvoir y retourner de façon permanente. Ce n’est qu’un rêve et donc, il faut que je me contente de ces dernières photos jusqu’en l’année prochaine. Et j’ai plusieurs projets qui vont m’occuper entretemps pour que je ne m’en attarde pas trop – en premier, mon site subira un gros relooking cette fin de semaine pour commencer, j’ai très hâte que vous la voyez !

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Comments

  1. Hello Cee! This is my first time commenting, after reading your blog for… how long?! A while! I really like the new layout, so nice and clean!

    I have a quick, kind-of silly question about wearing clothes with French words on them in Paris, or France in general – since you’re wearing that super cute Bonjour sweatshirt here. I mean, is it generally a done thing, or do people stare and think, “Tourist!”? I wore my La Superbe sweatshirt all over Paris the last time we went there (the grey Madewell one, I mean), and felt fine. No evil stares – that I noticed, anyway. Is the key that things need to be a bit discreet? My other “French verbage” items include a grey linen Madewell “PARIS” tee, a red-striped one that reads “Paris, mon amour” (from their second Sezane collaboration) and a black “Bien Sur” wool sweater. Which of these are likely to get the stink-eye from actual French people? I’m sorry, this really is a silly question, but it’s been bugging me! ^_^;

    • Hi Gwen – so lovely to hear from you! In all honesty, I had never considered whether or not I should wear tops with French verbiage on them while in Paris. I wore my La Superbe sweatshirt all the time when I lived there, as did half of the French girls I knew (because at that time, the La Superbe sweatshirt was the it thing.) When I think about it, I think a lot of my French girlfriends would probably wear this Bonjour! sweatshirt, too, so I don’t think it’s anything that makes you stand out as a tourist. The dead giveaway used to be white sneakers, but even the are on trend now…! I don’t think anyone French would give you the stink eye for wearing anything with French words on it, and if they did, they probably would have done so regardless of what you were wearing 😉
      xox,
      Cee

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