Glam Sesh sweater (c/o)
Sezane jeans
Yves Saint-Laurent heels
Elizabeth Lyn Jewelry necklace (similar)
Wolf Circus necklace
Delphine Pariente ring (similar)
Urban Outfitters earrings (similar)
CHANEL Gabrielle perfume
Location: Osborne Village – Winnipeg, Manitoba
It’s not that you can never go home again. At least, it’s not just that. It’s that home isn’t just where you live. And that home doesn’t have to be the city of your dreams. When we were preparing to leave Paris again in 2017, I reflected that I was finally ready to let the city go. Or at least, to let go of my dream of reliving a version of the year 2013 wherein we got to stay in Paris. We made the conscious decision to spend a little bit of time away from the city. We devoted 2018 to exploring new places. It was the right decision. And now that we’re just back from our first trip to Paris in two years, I find myself reflecting on the concept of home again.
Paris will always feel like home in so many ways. But it will never really be home, because it will never be the place where we have jobs and own property and pay our bills. That doesn’t mean we can’t go back and feel at home. Home is, in many ways, where the heart is, and our hearts will always be in Paris. But home is also the place you choose to live because it gives you what you need to have the life that you want. Paris has so much of what we want – the culture, the food, the beautiful photo opportunities on every corner. But it is missing the job security and the affordable real estate that, realistically, we need if we still harbour the increasingly improbable dream of eventual retirement.
I admire anyone who is willing and able to take the risks that come with expat life. They are numerous, and not for the anxiety-prone. Expat life is expensive. And fraught with instability, both financial and personal. My cautious heart loves the stability that comes from bi-weekly pay cheques and monthly mortgage payments, despite the lack of excitement that comes from both of those things. I do not have the constitution required to sustain a life of constant excitement. I love knowing how my day will go, step-by-step, when I wake up in the morning, from yoga to coffee break to dinner and reading before bed. Canada gives me that luxury in a way that France will never be able to.
It will never be 2013 again, and that’s okay. I will always feel like I belong in Paris, but it will never be home again, and that’s okay, too. Home is where everyday life happens. In adulthood, everyday life is waking up to an alarm, convincing yourself to work out despite all of the increasingly creative reasons you come up with to stay in bed and spending eight hours at a desk most days. When I think of home in those terms, I’d really rather live in Winnipeg, where I don’t feel like I’m missing out if I can’t enjoy the city every single day. A life of routine in Paris would feel like a waste.
Paris will always be my favourite city. I can’t think of a better place to spend a holiday. But holidays can’t last forever, and I am increasingly willing to come home again. The contrast between home and Paris is part of what makes visit to the French capital feel so special.
This was so well stated Cee. My situation is different, but when I owned my eco-clothing business, I was able to consistently travel. I spent May through August in a fancy RV, traveling the country, and the rest of the year, flew to a different city once or twice a month. I also visited other countries at least two or three times a year. These days, I do still travel (including one international trip a year), but under much different circumstances. And I have realized that, like you, part of my heart is cautious and that I just don’t have it in me to be traveling more than I’m not or living in some of the extravagant places I used to call home. Home for me now is in the suburbs of a metropolis with a pretty boring day to day. But I am good with this. PS These photos are stunning. I love the mirror shots.
So much of this captures how I feel about Edinburgh and, to a lesser extent, New Haven. They have a piece of me and I them, and I will always think of them as “home” in a way. But I’m also strangely happy to be based in Edmonton and know that I have alternate homes and that they’ll always be special and beautiful (because absence makes the heart grow stronger) and never tarnished with the mundane (yet comforting) banalities of daily life.
Courtney ~ Sartorial Sidelines
This is so, so true. I know Vancouver is not Paris, but I tried to make a go of it there for three years and it just did not work. I realized that if I wanted to good, secure job and a home of my own the Yukon is where I have to be. My heart is not here though:)
Paris will always be there for you though and it will always be special – perhaps more because you can’t call it home.
Welcome home, Cee! And I just remembered I had a dream we were hoarding Chanel purses. Haha!! I’m in if you’re!! 😉 And I love your thoughts & words – so much. A small comparison, but when we lived in the city, I felt like we were always busy with work & life, and couldn’t take advantage of all the lovely things it offered. Now it’s our “home” away from home and it always feels special when we go!! Can’t wait to hear more about your Paris adventures when we chat!! xo
http://www.veronikanovotny.com (life + style blog)
I keep coming across these articles telling of people abandoning their mortgages to buy a camper or a bus or a van and spend their lives traveling, sometimes with young children, doing freelance work remotely when they are fortunate enough to have a wifi connection. They want to be free, but how free is it to have drive a huge vehicle, find places to park it, cook in the worlds tiniest kitchen, and constantly be elbow to elbow with your family? You might have all the ‘space’ of the world around you, but when your bed is also your kitchen table, how much space do you actually have?
It’s easy to romanticize things, when you get to vacation in Paris, you get to enjoy everything about Paris, but if you were living there, you’d be spending all your time working and worrying about money to appreciate what is there for you. At least that is what California was for me, not a vacation, just trying to live life, and doing a terrible job at making money.
Love these creative shots! For me home is where I feel most at peace 🙂
http://www.fashionradi.com
I read your posts from time to time and this one caught my eye. Because I am your exact opposite: I am from Paris, born and raised, and now call Winnipeg home. Discovering Manitoba happened in 2013 for me too, but I had to leave, and I also came back in 2017. We have things in common!