Dans le noir

January 16, 2017

H&M jacket (similar)
Noul sweater (similar)
Aritzia skirt (similar)
Le Chateau boots (c/o)
Chanel bag
Celine sunglasses
Keltie Leanne Designs ring (c/o)
CC Lifestyles earrings (c/o)

The fact is, of course, that the way I imagined my life would turn out bears no resemblance to how it actually did – when I imagined adulthood at fifteen, I had no concept of how much technology would change our lives over the next few years, rendering all kinds of things obsolete (including my dream career, simultaneous interpreter – thank-you, Google translate.) To be fair, my fifteen-year-old self also thought pink eyeshadow was a good idea and often used hair gel infused with blue glitter, so she had a few things to learn. I had a blog when I was fifteen, for about five minutes. There were no pictures, and I can’t imagine the text was worth reading, either; at that age, I spent half my time over-analysing every interaction in my life and the other half making self-deprecating jokes about how I over-analysed everything. I wanted to grow up to be a carefree Parisian who was unaffected by what people thought of her. I missed the mark on the Parisian part, but it’s rare that I give any thought to if anyone things I’m odd… or what anyone thinks of me at all, to be entirely honest. The things that excite me – like stumbling upon a perfect black brick wall during our trip to Victoria, and having it be located, coincidentally, next to the most charming flower shop, which miraculously had my favourite anemones despite the season – may seem unusual, I suppose, but I know what I like and I embrace it, because life is too short not to.

One thing I absolutely haven’t outgrown is my curiosity, so tell me – what were you like at fifteen?

Bien sûr, ma vie ne ressemble pas du tout à la vie que d’adulte que j’envisageais en tant qu’adolescente – lorsque j’imaginais ma vie d’adulte, à mes quinze ans, je ne savais pas du tout combien la l’internet allait changer notre mode de vie à travers les prochaines années. Grâce à la technologie de communications, la carrière de mes rêves, interprète simultanée, n’existe quasiment plus. Ceci dit, à mes quinze ans, je croyais que le fard à paupières rose m’allait bien, et j’avais l’habitude d’utiliser un gel coiffant à paillettes bleues, donc c’est clair que j’avais toujours beaucoup à apprendre. Je tenais un blog à mes quinze ans, pendant environ cinq minutes. Je ne mettais jamais des photos et j’imagine que le texte ne méritait pas d’être lu ; à l’époque, je passais la moitié de mon temps à sur-analyser toutes mes interactions quotidiennes et l’autre moitié à autocritiquer mon habitude de tout sur-analyser. Je voulais surtout devenir une adulte parisienne qui s’en foutait des opinions des autres. C’est vrai que je n’ai toujours pas réussi mon rêve de devenir une vraie parisienne, et pourtant, c’est rare que je me demande si quelqu’un me trouve bizarre… en fait, c’est rare que je me demande comment quelqu’un me trouve du tout. Les choses qui me passionnent – par exemple, le fait de tomber sur un mur en brique noir pendant notre séjour à Victoria, et découvrir que ce soit à deux pas d’un fleuriste charmant qui vendait des tétras malgré la saison – n’ont pas d’intérêt pour tout le monde, mais je sais très bien ce que j’aime et la vie est trop courte pour ne pas faire exactement ce qui nous plaît.

Comme je demeure aussi curieuse que j’étais en tant qu’adolescente, j’aimerais très bien que vous me racontiez un peu sur vous à vos quinze ans dans la section commentaires…!

7 comments so far.

7 responses to “Dans le noir”

  1. That wall, the lighting, and your jacket are perfection. I would have been thrilled over stumbling upon a black brick wall too! At 15 I had idealistic dreams of running off to New York with my musician boyfriend and becoming a famous actress. I did, in fact, pursue the acting career all the way through college by way of a theatre degree, but in the end none of it panned out. I still wouldn’t change a thing.

  2. Courtney says:

    I was just entering my punk stage at 15 and I feel like I’ve maintained that as a core part of my identity and yet adopted a more mature punk-esque style as the years have passed and I’ve evolved.

    Courtney ~ Sartorial Sidelines

  3. lyddiegal says:

    It’s the little things that give us delight which makes life worth living for. Finding an optimal photo backdrop and having that perfect bouquet of flowers, and taking outfit photos not just for the blog, but to have as a reminder of your trip all add up and form beautiful memories.

    At 15… oh I was a mess. It’s entirely possible in 15 more years I could look back and think the same, but at least I no longer cosplay.
    http://www.iamchiconthecheap.com/

  4. First of all, this outfit is my new all-time favourite. Plus… I’m seriously swooning, swooning over those gorgeous flowers and that wall. Oh if I could only have one around the corner, how perfect would that be right?! As for not caring what people think? Amen, sista! Embracing who we are, quirks and all, well, there’s really no other way! Happiest Monday lovey!! xo

  5. Kim Alston says:

    Cee, you found the perfect black wall. It looks so good against your outfit. Plus the floral arrangement is divine. I love your outfit! Isn’t it something how times have changed. I remember typewriters! LOL I had to transition to computers & such. I just keep rolling with the technology.
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

  6. Lorena says:

    It’s the little things…
    and at 15, OMG I was head over heels in a relationship that dragged for too long. I was insecure, I cared too much about what others thought. I think my 15 year old self would we very proud of me today.

Cee Fardoe is a thirty-something Canadian blogger who splits her time between Winnipeg and Paris. She is a voracious reader, avid tea-drinker, insatiable wanderer and fashion lover who prefers to dress in black, white and gray.

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