The Subtle Art of Dressing for Yourself

October 30, 2017

Fashion blogger Cee Fardoe of Coco & Vera wears a Lovers + Friends oversized sweater from REVOLVE with a Sezane leather miniskirtPortrait of Winnipeg fashion blogger Cee Fardoe of Coco & Vera wearing Celine Audrey sunglasses and a grey Lovers + Friends LA turtleneck sweaterFashion blogger Cee Fardoe of Coco & Vera walks along Mall Plazain Winnipeg wearing a Sezane leather miniskirt and H&M block heelsOutfit details on Canadian fashion blogger Cee Fardoe of Coco & Vera including a Chanel Timeless handbag and H&M block heelsFashion blogger Cee Fardoe of Coco & Vera wears a grey Lovers + Friends LTA turtleneck sweater, Celine Audrey sunglasses and a Sezane leather skirtLovers + Friends sweater (c/o REVOLVE)
Sezane skirt (similar)
H&M heels
Chanel bag
Celine sunglasses
Olive + Piper ring (c/o)
Caroline Neron earrings (c/o)

I remember the first issue of Seventeen magazine that I ever read. Far from seventeen, I was nine. The magazine belonged to my friend’s older sister; Laetitia Casta was the cover girl of the month. At the time, Seventeen was an intelligent, even subversive publication, particularly as far as teen magazines are concerned. It was the mid-nineties and grunge was the style of the moment. The girls featured in the magazines wore baggy jeans and sneakers, their hair undone, because those were the styles that made them feel good. Suggestions that they might dress to impress their crushes were rare if they popped up at all because the editors of Seventeen knew what I have believed ever since – dressing to impress men is entirely beside the point.

By the time I reached high school, the idea of dressing to look “sexy” seemed utterly preposterous to me. My magazine of choice by then, Teen People, promoted modesty in fashion strongly, well aware that their target audience was young Christian women in the American south. But it was the 2000s, and the narrative had begun to change. The rebellious, egalitarian mid-nineties, when both genders united in their love of Doc Martens and flannel, had long passed. Crop tops and exposed thongs both had their moments in the sun. As a teenager, I wanted to follow trends, because fitting in is of paramount importance in high school no matter where you stand ideologically. Mom and I had some epic arguments about the length of my tops. But it was never about impressing the boys around me – or so I thought.

Dressing for yourself isn’t as simple as saying, I’m dressing for myself. I worked in retail for years, where the focus of sales was always on finding clothes that flattered the customer. But what are clothes that are flattering, except clothes that draw attention to the parts of our body that interest men? It occurred to me, as I stood in front of my mirror the other day, dressed in boyfriend jeans and the same sweater I’m wearing in these photos, that I’ve gotten caught up in dressing for the male gaze without realising it. Because the first thing I thought when I looked at myself was, These pants and this sweater together aren’t very flattering. 

What does it matter? If you are truly dressing for yourself, and you feel good in what you wear, why should it make a difference if anyone can see the shape of your hips or the curve of your waist? Sometimes, I want to pair my favourite oversized sweater with a short skirt. But most of the time, I would rather throw it on with baggy jeans. The trick is not worrying about how other people will perceive my outfit. Magazines still sell issues filled with articles with titles like The Best Clothes for your Shape. And, because I am 5’2″ with curves, those titles suck me in the same way they suck everyone else in.

Dressing for yourself is no easy feat because it requires you to accept your body as it is in a world where countless external voices tell you it is not (and will never be) good enough. Dressing for yourself, wearing the baggy jeans with the oversized sweater, means saying to the world, I define what makes me look good, not you. It is an act of rebellion. And like all acts of rebellion, it takes real courage. The kind of courage that I, admittedly, do not have every morning. But I’m working on it.

6 comments so far.

6 responses to “The Subtle Art of Dressing for Yourself”

  1. I’ve always subscribed to the notion of dressing as a form of micro-rebellion, and I think it becomes especially so when your style just sort of inherently challenges or defies patriarchal norms. I’m most definitely not at the point where I do it on the regular but it’s something I’m conscious of and try to do with at least some intention. Rebellion matters.

    Courtney ~ Sartorial Sidelines

  2. One thing I’ve learned, is if you dress for yourself you look better and save money. In high school and college, I dressed based on trends. I threw out so many clothes, season after season. Wasted lots of money. I didn’t have a sense of identity. Now that I do, my closet looks a lot better and so do I. Same holds true for makeup. After-while, you find yourself and know what works for you. Love your sweater and leather skirt Cee.
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

  3. Lisa says:

    Oh I LOVED Seventeen back in the 90s and would even look for certain bylines because I enjoyed those writers so much. Interesting to see that some of them are YA authors now!

  4. Firstly, I love slouchy sweaters and boyf jeans together. And I must say, these days I’m really pushing the envelope with my outfits. Comfort is key and I’m not sure any of it is very flattering. Haha! 😉 But I digress, love your take on dressing for yourself, because it’s the only way, and I love that you’re keeping this mantra in mind when you’re making your style choices + clearly it’s working because you always look fabulous!! Hope your week is off to a great start Cee!! xo

    http://www.girlandcloset.com

  5. Elise says:

    I remember that issue of Seventeen! I love this black and grey look, classic and chic!

    xx, Elise
    http://www.sparkleandslippers.blogspot.com

  6. Lorena says:

    Very thought provoking Cee, I remember reading those magazines too !
    I tell myself that I dress for me every morning … and I think I do. My office is a handful of people who don’t look up from their desk. I could go in jeans and a tee and it would be ok. But I think that if I enjoy getting dressed and putting something together that will make me feel good, then it goes.
    BTW I totally love those shoes.

Cee Fardoe is a thirty-something Canadian blogger who splits her time between Winnipeg and Paris. She is a voracious reader, avid tea-drinker, insatiable wanderer and fashion lover who prefers to dress in black, white and gray.

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