Chapter Twenty-One

April 2, 2018

Fashion blogger Cee Fardoe of Coco & Vera sits in the lobby of the Fairmont Washington DC wearing an & Other Stories sweater and Paige black jeansPortrait of Winnipeg fashion blogger Cee Fardoe of Coco & Vera reading The Washington Post at the Fairmont in Washington DCCanadian style blogger Cee Fardoe of Coco & Vera reads The Washington Post at the Fairmont Washington DC wearing an & Other Stories sweater and Christian Louboutin Pigalle pumpsOutfit details on fashion blogger Cee Fardoe of Coco & Vera, including & Other Stories statement earrings and Madewell ringsWinnipeg fashion blogger Cee Fardoe of Coco & Vera sits in the lounge at the Fairmont Washington DC wearing Paige jeans and Christian Louboutin Pigalle pumps& Other Stories sweater
Paige jeans (c/o Shopbop)
Christian Louboutin heels
Massimo Dutti bag (similar)
& Other Stories necklace (similar)
Madewell rings
& Other Stories earrings
Location: Fairmont Washington DC Georgetown – Washington DC

If you enter the word chapter in the search box on the sidebar, a list of old posts pops up, some dating back to 2010. As a writer, I often describe my own life in literary metaphor – new phases are chapters and events become stories I tell at parties. But at least half of the posts that pop are not metaphorical at all. Over the years I have, sporadically, recounted the trials and tribulations of writing my first novel… which morphed into a series of three books somewhere along the way.

Currently, I am scribbling chapter twenty-one of book three in a black Moleskine notebook with a blue Papermate pen. I still write everything by hand to start. (If I have access to a backspace button while working on a first draft, it’s rare that the draft gets beyond the first page. Perfectionism is a real problem.) On Saturday, I found myself unable to extricate myself from a particularly complex paragraph for what felt like ages – and actually was several hours.

At the same time, copies of my first two novels sit next to me. I worked with an incredibly talented designer to develop new cover art for After the Shots because I never loved the cover I made for it myself when it launched in 2014. At the same time, we collaborated on cover art for my second novel. Both are due to launch later this year, when I have finished checking them for errors for the zillionth time. (It should be noted that no amount of edits is ever enough – somehow, a typo always gets missed somewhere along the way.)

All the while, I wonder what will come next. I have lived more than half my life with these characters. I wrote the first two chapters of the first version of After the Shots one Sunday evening in tenth grade when I wanted an excuse to escape family dinner. Somehow, stories I began to develop at fifteen are even more relevant now that I am thirty-two, as the political climate all over the world shifts in ways that seemed unimaginable back then. But eventually, they will end. They have to. Any writer worth their salt will tell you that you have to kill your darlings. And they’re right. But when this proverbial chapter of my writing career ends, I’m not sure where I’ll go.

I don’t know if I’ll ever write a fourth novel. Well, that isn’t strictly true. I’ve written a lot more than three novels in my life. But I don’t know if I’ll ever write anything else I’ll feel compelled to publish. I don’t have any old projects I feel a particular pull to come back to. And, if I’m honest, I don’t have any new stories I feel a pressing need to tell. I suppose only time will tell where I go from here. But in the meantime, I’ll just keep scribbling.

7 comments so far.

7 responses to “Chapter Twenty-One”

  1. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about whether or not I’ll never write anything new. Never say never I guess (although it seems pretty unlikely in my case).

    Courtney ~ Sartorial Sidelines

  2. Lyddiegal says:

    My first comment disappeared… but I think I said:

    I look forward to your next novel, and even if you don’t believe you will write another story worthy of being published, you still hit publish here every week, and I think your words are worth being shared.

    I am also loving those statement earrings, and you are making me believe that I could wear black jeans and a grey sweater for a third time in nearly as many days and have it look amazing as long as I put on a fabulous pair of earrings.
    Chic on the Cheap

  3. Don’t get ahead of yourself Cee. Just concentrate on now and this year. New things may come up that you’ll want to write about πŸ™‚
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

  4. Allie Mackin says:

    Wow working on book three that is something. So excited for you. And 15 to 32 that is a long time to carry these characters around. But you stuck to it and they are seeing the light of day.

    Allie of ALLIENYC
    http://www.allienyc.com

  5. Gwen Kortsen says:

    I once read this mini-comic that a writer-artist drew after ending her ten-volume graphic novel series. She described it as having to take a step back, that it was like going to the beach to search for seashells, only she’s be searching for little ideas. And that when she had enough of them, she’d try to assemble them and see what happened (I think). At the time, it struck me as such a beautiful metaphor. It sounds to me like you’re so deeply invested in your series that it’s hard to imagine what lies beyond – and I’d say that’s okay, it just means you’re giving this project everything you’ve got! I look forward to reading your novels when they come out! πŸ™‚

  6. I really need to read After the Shots. I’ve wanted to for some time now, but I am admittedly terrible with books in this period of my life (filled with toddlers). Also, I love this: “If I have access to a backspace button while working on a first draft, it’s rare that the draft gets beyond the first page. Perfectionism is a real problem.” It makes sense to me in more than just the literary sense!

  7. Oh my gosh, finally getting caught up on life & my blog reading. The last two weeks / spring break has been an absolute blur… I’ll have to give you the low down over a glass of wine when we meet. Haha! πŸ˜‰ However, I digress, SO excited about your new book AND the new design. I’m certain it’s going to be absolutely beautiful!! Plus you couldn’t have picked a better outfit to announce this wonderful news. Looking gorgeous Cee!! xo

    http://www.girlandcloset.com

Cee Fardoe is a thirty-something Canadian blogger who splits her time between Winnipeg and Paris. She is a voracious reader, avid tea-drinker, insatiable wanderer and fashion lover who prefers to dress in black, white and gray.

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