Balenciaga Blues

Uniqlo coat (similar)
Sezane blouse (similar)
Mavi jeans (c/o)
Mango heels
APC handbag
RayBan sunglasses
Keltie Leanne Designs ring (c/o) (similar)
Mango earrings
Location: Celine – Avenue Montaigne, Paris

Dear friends,

It may not be obvious – the sun is very bright indeed, which makes it hard for me to smile without tears rolling down my cheeks – but these are snapshots of a very happy person. She has just come from the Balenciaga store on Avenue Montaigne where, after almost a year of searching, she found and purchased her own pair of black satin knife pumps.

My love affair with shoes has been lifelong. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t obsessed with finding the perfect pair – which, in my mind, was often synonymous with the most impractical pair. The funny thing is, I never actually go shoe shopping. I can’t remember the last time that I set out for a shoe store, looking for a specific type of footwear. Fabulous shoes just seem to find me, and I can’t say that I’m upset about it.

But the Balenciaga knife pumps were a different story. And walking down Avenue Montaigne with them tucked into a large grey shopping bag feels almost surreal. I can’t believe that, after all this time, they’re really mine.

It began innocently enough, this obsession with knife pumps. I spied a green pair on a blog I’ve read for years and thought, in passing, that they looked like very glamourous shoes for an elf. (Green is my least favourite colour. I dislike green shoes in particular.) But the silhouette, the low heel and sharp point of the toe stuck in my mind. And when the black version turned up in a magazine, my reaction felt more like love at first sight.

Balenciaga knife pumps were suddenly the only shoes I could see. All of my favourite influencers seemed to own a pair, and photos of them flooded my instagram feed. In the weeks before our departure for Florence last fall, I saw a snapshot of a pair posed delicately on top of their box on a wooden chair almost identical to the one that sits in the corner of my own office and it was the last straw. I absolutely had to have them.

But there was a small snag – the black pair I coveted appeared, based on my frantic internet searches, to be entirely sold out. There was still hope, in the form of the Balenciaga boutique in Florence. I crossed all of my fingers as we departed for Italy…

…and yet, sadly, my hope was in vain. Unable to wait, I made my way to the Balenciaga boutique on our first full day in Tuscany. It is a petite spot, barely the size of my home office. “Yes,” the saleswoman told me, “we do have the knife pumps. In fuschia and royal blue.” The vibrant versions she showed me reminded me of Barbie shoes. Gutted, I left empty-handed and consoled myself with a small purchase at Celine a few doors down.

In my desperation to make a pair of black knife pumps mine, I seriously considered making a trip to the Balenciaga store when we were in Venice, but I knew it would be a mistake. It was a hot day, and my feet were puffy from days of endless walking. I couldn’t do it – the risk of leaving the store with a pair of shoes that would prove to be too big when I could home was simply too great. So I stayed away and made as much peace as I could with knowing I might never own the Balenciaga shoes I’d been dreaming of.

That peace lasted until about a week before we left for Paris. I can go anywhere else in the world and not even bother stepping into a store, but when we go to Paris, I plan my purchases in advance. And while I had my eye on a pair of Chanel pumps, I wasn’t totally convinced they were what I wanted – something about a logo on a pair of shoes, even if it is a pair of interlocking Cs, always puts me off. I wonder, I thought quite passively, if Balenciaga brought back the black satin knife pumps. It might be worth a look…

There they were on the Balenciaga website, in all their minimal glory; black satin knife pumps, with a heel strap and without. Both available in my size. I immediately added a trip to the Balenciaga boutique into our Paris agenda. But after disappointment in Florence, I couldn’t allow myself to get my hopes up.

This morning I woke up knowing the day might have finally come. It seems silly but my excitement woke me before my alarm. Originally, I wanted the Balenciaga boutique to be our first stop of the morning – but it doesn’t open until 11 am. In order to keep myself busy, we planned two separate photoshoots and a coffee break on the way to the store. It would be better to have a wonderful morning, I decided, just in case it didn’t end with my leaving the Balenciaga store with a shopping bag in hand.

Since I am carrying a Balenciaga bag in these photos, you know how the story ends. The knife pumps were waiting for me, and they proved to be every bit as perfect in person as they looked in pictures. The salesman tried to tempt me with a velvet version, but I couldn’t not be swayed. Black satin was what I wanted, nothing else. Even now, it’s all I can do not to change into them in the street. But I restrain myself, carrying them in their bag, smiling because I know exactly what’s inside and that it was absolutely worth waiting for.

At times, I catch myself thinking that it’s frivolous to invest so much time in a shoe purchase. But then I experience the joy of actually making that purchase. And I know nothing that makes me so happy could be anything less than totally worthwhile.