Zara coat (similar)
Sezane dress
Mango slingbacks
Sezane handbag
Celine sunglasses
Agape Studio necklace (c/o) (similar)
Agape Studio earrings (c/o) (similar)
Location: Saint-Boniface Cathedral – Winnipeg, Manitoba
…always, but especially in the winter.
(Thank you so much for your ongoing support as I tell my big story. The final instalment is coming on Monday. But in the meantime, let’s talk about something fun, shall we?)
Paris. I dream of the French capital all year long, but my longing for it, and for our former life there, becomes particularly acute in the winter months in Winnipeg. I ask myself questions like, “How hard would it really be to just quit my job, run away to France and start over?” Usually while Googling different types of visas, only to find out what I’ve already known for a decade, which is that there are none that I can truly qualify for that will allow me to stay there in the long term. Meanwhile, I place Sezane orders and contemplate adding more red and navy to my wardrobe. Somehow, red lipstick suddenly seems like a good idea again.
I know, really, that the dream is mostly just a coping mechanism, a way to get myself through a season that otherwise seems intolerable. I hate the cold, but equally, I hate being trapped inside by it. Maybe it would be more accurate to say that I hate winter in Canada – because the truth is, Parisian winters are rainy but I still dream about them. After all, in Paris there is always a museum into which you can escape to avoid bad weather, always a warm cafe serving hot coffee and snacks. And most of both of them are usually within reasonable walking distance of wherever you live, which is part of the fun – the cold, windy, wet walk to a wonderful destination that makes you forget the weather entirely.
That’s what I dream about, really: the only place in the world where I wake up, just excited to be there and experience what the day has to offer, no matter what the weather. I know there are no perfect days anywhere. And itself Paris is far from perfect. I’ve never suffered through the metro-boulot-dodo (subway-work-sleep) routine that many Parisians find so tiresome because I’ve only ever been self-employed while living there. But I still understand intimately how hard it can be just to get by in the city. It’s a wildly expensive place on a normal salary. And just getting by is all the more uncomfortable when you’re surrounded by all the wonders of the world, very few of which are cost-free. Every day in Paris, especially in my earliest years there, was an exercise in resisting beautiful temptations. Some days I managed. Other days, less so.
The thing is, I know all of that but I dream about it, anyway. That’s because I do wake up every morning in Paris thrilled to look out my window and remember where I am all over again. You can’t ask for much better than that, in life. And once you’ve experienced it, it’s hard to go back to reality.
We’ve made it through January, but winter will be around for several more months. And so, I expect, will be my longing for my Parisian life.
